Diary
23/02/2024
Drinking: Peach monster ultra
Listening: Hannahthehorrible-The DEEPEST Shock Site Tiers
Hiya!
It's been a while and some good and bad stuff stuff has happened. I'll get the bad out of the way. J and I both spent some time in hospital but we have recovered. The main news is that J and I moved out! We have a beautiful little apartment, it's perfect and living together hasn't been hard. We have our own spaces. We like to cook alot, Joe is always baking. We have just finished unpacking, our familes have visited and one of J's friends will come over tonight! Uni starts next week, my last first semester. I'm doing another neuropsych one, human behaviour in extreme environments, and as my last elective, intro to japanese! Both J and I have been to Japan and I can speak a little. I'm in the process of getting a place in an airforce gap year program, so I can fly planes. My little brother just started highschool which is insane !! Much love, Arli
04/01/2024
Drinking: Iced green tea
Listening: Queen Nicki Minaj
HI! Welcome to 2024
A bits happens since my last entry! J went to Japan with his family for three weeks and I house/pet sat for them! The first week was lonely but over time it got WAY easier! I had L, my mum and lil brother over. J's mum gave me 1.5k and lots of gifts. In the last week of the trip they all got really sick, J's brother got influenza a and covid and almost went to hospital. It wasn't clear for a while wether they could come home on time or not, but they did! J brought me back so may gifts!
My lil brother graduated from primary school too, which is insane bc he is still a lil baby to me. I helped put up J's family's christmas tree and decorations and a couple of days later it was my lil brother's 13th birthday!!! J and I decorated gingerbread houses, watched christmas movies and drove around looking at christmas lights. J's family started fostering four, 6 week old tabby kittens, they are so tiny and sweet, I wish I could keep them. They got a bit sick but they are on the mend now.
On the 22nd of dec my family exchanged gifts, I got a lot of little things like candles and books as well as a $100 giftcard to an online bookshop. I preordered Maddiline Pendelton's book the other day. She is the host of the Pick me up I'm scared podcast I always listen to. Everyone enjoyed the gifts I brought them. Then I went to J's house to swap gifts with him. He got me so much that I got overwhelmed and had to take breaks in between opening them. He gotme so much candy and chocolate, tea. trinkets from Japan, candles and he preordered Penelope Scott's latest album. On the 23rd I took J out to see the boy and the heron, it was beautiful and I love the cinema sm. On CHristmas eve I travelled up the coast with my mum and lil brother to stay w some relitives. We stopped at this sick giftshop that I love and I found a phrenology bust for only $80, I had been looking at them online for like $300. We stopped in at a family friends house and she gifted me some amaxing Buddhist loot, including, a prayer wheel, khutas, many books and a handpainted nepalese cabnet which she will deliever to my house soon. I have been studying Buddhism a lot more and in April I am going on a week long mediation retreat at a female focused monastry. It's in the mountains. I am very excited! I went swimming in the ocean w lil brother and in the evening we watched the christmas parade.
On christmas we had a little lunch and a big dinner as usual. I had two lunches because I went to visit a new (2yr old) little cousin that I hadn't met before. Back at where we were staying I met my REALLY new little cousin, she was a month or two old I think. I held her and she spat up milk on my arm which was gross, but she was so cute. After dinner we opened up gifts, I got a few little things, a plant, candy and chocolate and ofc money!!!
On the 26th I went back home and visted J's dad, we went out to dinner and they got me these sick red dwarf earrings. I felt really sick that night, and a few days later I tested positive for covid
It was the first time I had covid, and the hardest part was not going out and not seeing J. I stayed up on NYE and J showed me the fireworks and we kissed on the phone at midnight.
As everyone knows Gypsy Rose is out of prison, I am very happy for her. During my isolation I really read up on her story. I saw j for the first time since isolating the other day, we applied to a bunch of places, and yesterday we had another inspection, I really hope we get this one!
My new years resolutions are to watch more movies, get my license and sort out my stamp collection!
I hope y'all had/are having a good holiday season. Talk soon.
12/11/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Pick me up I'm scared
Hello ! It's been a while ! My fave month is over and spooky month!
I'm reading my journal to help me remember what I've done lately. In early September, J gave me a lil gift basket w lots of treats, flowers, pens, white out and a card. A few days later I had a sleepover w bestie L, one like we used to have in highschool, we spent like $120 on snacks, we watch the monster high movie and fionna and cake. On the 23rd it was J's bday, he got a lot of cool stuff including camping things, we had a bbq lunch and indian for dinner and he had a caramel mudcake.
On the 27th it was my bday! I had high tea w L and she got me some nail polishes, lip gloss and a few other things. Joe got my the communist manifestop, a lush gift set, a lana viynl and a coffee scented candle. His dad and step mum gave me a lush set and his mum gave me the antiquarian sticker book. My little brother drew me a picture of me and my doggie. My parents gave me a bass guitar !!!! I also got some money which I put away for the Bicheno trip. J and I got maccas for breakkie and then we went to some arcades! L came over and dad made ravioli for dinner and we had tiramasu for dessert.
I also got a big backpay from centrelink so I brought glasses, new docs and I had a dental check up! J, my little brother, D and I went camping too, we only stayed one night bc we forgot some food, got bored and it got rainy, we still had a great a time ! We went on a 5km hike and went fishing ( we didnt catch anything lol ) J and I went to a goth ball w drag and stuff and T and B drove up and a bunch of our friends came !!! Itr was awesome !! J and D and I went to show, L and E were sick so they didn't come :( We went on some rides and got showbags and looked at animals. J and I went down the coast w my mum to visit family, ,it was good! We went to a flower farm and there were so many bugs !!!! I brought some dark purple tulips. One of my friends gifted me a buddhist book and a meditation cushion! I finished all my exams and I think I did alright ! yahooo !
A few days before halloween J and I adopted to mice!! Honey and Lavender, they are SO sweet ! I also got some angel bites. On the 28th J and I went to a halloween party! There were a lot of cool people. A few days later we went to a halloween carnival event, they had free popcorn and fairyfloss, we got tokens to play games for prizes, we won quite a bit! On the 30th we saw the fnaf movie and on the 31st j and i went trick or treating w his dad, step mum and lil brother, we got HEAPS of candy! When we got home we watched a horror movie and ate the halloween cookies we baked earlier.
On the 3rd of Nov J and I drove to Bicheno, J planned and payed for it all aaaaa we had lunch at the beach and dinner at a fancy restuaront. The next morning we had breakfast at a cafe and went to a wildlife park, the next day we drove a few hours away and looked at a bookshop and lnch before going to a serpentarium, there were lots of reptiles and cool artefacts. I held a snake called russel !! Then we drove further away and went to a small and quite strange camel farm, on the last day we went on a glass bottom boat tour, we saw seals, star fish, jelly fish, little sharks and many other fish !!
I've been going to the gym and I'm still losing weight :) Soon J and his family will be in Japan and I'll be house/pet sitting, his mum is paying me very generously. I plan to watch a lot of movies. J and I are planning on moving into an apartment/small house soon. when he gets back from Japan we are going to some viewings. We wrote a list of all the furniture and appliences we'll need and came up with an estimate. I'm super excited to move out, it'll just be me, him our meeses and my lil dog !! I'm excited to have all my friends/family over for a house warming dinner party and then later in the night have proper party. Until next time !
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
-
Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
Hiya!
It's been a while and some good and bad stuff stuff has happened. I'll get the bad out of the way. J and I both spent some time in hospital but we have recovered. The main news is that J and I moved out! We have a beautiful little apartment, it's perfect and living together hasn't been hard. We have our own spaces. We like to cook alot, Joe is always baking. We have just finished unpacking, our familes have visited and one of J's friends will come over tonight! Uni starts next week, my last first semester. I'm doing another neuropsych one, human behaviour in extreme environments, and as my last elective, intro to japanese! Both J and I have been to Japan and I can speak a little. I'm in the process of getting a place in an airforce gap year program, so I can fly planes. My little brother just started highschool which is insane !! Much love, Arli
04/01/2024
Drinking: Iced green tea
Listening: Queen Nicki Minaj
HI! Welcome to 2024
A bits happens since my last entry! J went to Japan with his family for three weeks and I house/pet sat for them! The first week was lonely but over time it got WAY easier! I had L, my mum and lil brother over. J's mum gave me 1.5k and lots of gifts. In the last week of the trip they all got really sick, J's brother got influenza a and covid and almost went to hospital. It wasn't clear for a while wether they could come home on time or not, but they did! J brought me back so may gifts!
My lil brother graduated from primary school too, which is insane bc he is still a lil baby to me. I helped put up J's family's christmas tree and decorations and a couple of days later it was my lil brother's 13th birthday!!! J and I decorated gingerbread houses, watched christmas movies and drove around looking at christmas lights. J's family started fostering four, 6 week old tabby kittens, they are so tiny and sweet, I wish I could keep them. They got a bit sick but they are on the mend now.
On the 22nd of dec my family exchanged gifts, I got a lot of little things like candles and books as well as a $100 giftcard to an online bookshop. I preordered Maddiline Pendelton's book the other day. She is the host of the Pick me up I'm scared podcast I always listen to. Everyone enjoyed the gifts I brought them. Then I went to J's house to swap gifts with him. He got me so much that I got overwhelmed and had to take breaks in between opening them. He gotme so much candy and chocolate, tea. trinkets from Japan, candles and he preordered Penelope Scott's latest album. On the 23rd I took J out to see the boy and the heron, it was beautiful and I love the cinema sm. On CHristmas eve I travelled up the coast with my mum and lil brother to stay w some relitives. We stopped at this sick giftshop that I love and I found a phrenology bust for only $80, I had been looking at them online for like $300. We stopped in at a family friends house and she gifted me some amaxing Buddhist loot, including, a prayer wheel, khutas, many books and a handpainted nepalese cabnet which she will deliever to my house soon. I have been studying Buddhism a lot more and in April I am going on a week long mediation retreat at a female focused monastry. It's in the mountains. I am very excited! I went swimming in the ocean w lil brother and in the evening we watched the christmas parade.
On christmas we had a little lunch and a big dinner as usual. I had two lunches because I went to visit a new (2yr old) little cousin that I hadn't met before. Back at where we were staying I met my REALLY new little cousin, she was a month or two old I think. I held her and she spat up milk on my arm which was gross, but she was so cute. After dinner we opened up gifts, I got a few little things, a plant, candy and chocolate and ofc money!!!
On the 26th I went back home and visted J's dad, we went out to dinner and they got me these sick red dwarf earrings. I felt really sick that night, and a few days later I tested positive for covid
It was the first time I had covid, and the hardest part was not going out and not seeing J. I stayed up on NYE and J showed me the fireworks and we kissed on the phone at midnight.
As everyone knows Gypsy Rose is out of prison, I am very happy for her. During my isolation I really read up on her story. I saw j for the first time since isolating the other day, we applied to a bunch of places, and yesterday we had another inspection, I really hope we get this one!
My new years resolutions are to watch more movies, get my license and sort out my stamp collection!
I hope y'all had/are having a good holiday season. Talk soon.
12/11/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Pick me up I'm scared
Hello ! It's been a while ! My fave month is over and spooky month!
I'm reading my journal to help me remember what I've done lately. In early September, J gave me a lil gift basket w lots of treats, flowers, pens, white out and a card. A few days later I had a sleepover w bestie L, one like we used to have in highschool, we spent like $120 on snacks, we watch the monster high movie and fionna and cake. On the 23rd it was J's bday, he got a lot of cool stuff including camping things, we had a bbq lunch and indian for dinner and he had a caramel mudcake.
On the 27th it was my bday! I had high tea w L and she got me some nail polishes, lip gloss and a few other things. Joe got my the communist manifestop, a lush gift set, a lana viynl and a coffee scented candle. His dad and step mum gave me a lush set and his mum gave me the antiquarian sticker book. My little brother drew me a picture of me and my doggie. My parents gave me a bass guitar !!!! I also got some money which I put away for the Bicheno trip. J and I got maccas for breakkie and then we went to some arcades! L came over and dad made ravioli for dinner and we had tiramasu for dessert.
I also got a big backpay from centrelink so I brought glasses, new docs and I had a dental check up! J, my little brother, D and I went camping too, we only stayed one night bc we forgot some food, got bored and it got rainy, we still had a great a time ! We went on a 5km hike and went fishing ( we didnt catch anything lol ) J and I went to a goth ball w drag and stuff and T and B drove up and a bunch of our friends came !!! Itr was awesome !! J and D and I went to show, L and E were sick so they didn't come :( We went on some rides and got showbags and looked at animals. J and I went down the coast w my mum to visit family, ,it was good! We went to a flower farm and there were so many bugs !!!! I brought some dark purple tulips. One of my friends gifted me a buddhist book and a meditation cushion! I finished all my exams and I think I did alright ! yahooo !
A few days before halloween J and I adopted to mice!! Honey and Lavender, they are SO sweet ! I also got some angel bites. On the 28th J and I went to a halloween party! There were a lot of cool people. A few days later we went to a halloween carnival event, they had free popcorn and fairyfloss, we got tokens to play games for prizes, we won quite a bit! On the 30th we saw the fnaf movie and on the 31st j and i went trick or treating w his dad, step mum and lil brother, we got HEAPS of candy! When we got home we watched a horror movie and ate the halloween cookies we baked earlier.
On the 3rd of Nov J and I drove to Bicheno, J planned and payed for it all aaaaa we had lunch at the beach and dinner at a fancy restuaront. The next morning we had breakfast at a cafe and went to a wildlife park, the next day we drove a few hours away and looked at a bookshop and lnch before going to a serpentarium, there were lots of reptiles and cool artefacts. I held a snake called russel !! Then we drove further away and went to a small and quite strange camel farm, on the last day we went on a glass bottom boat tour, we saw seals, star fish, jelly fish, little sharks and many other fish !!
I've been going to the gym and I'm still losing weight :) Soon J and his family will be in Japan and I'll be house/pet sitting, his mum is paying me very generously. I plan to watch a lot of movies. J and I are planning on moving into an apartment/small house soon. when he gets back from Japan we are going to some viewings. We wrote a list of all the furniture and appliences we'll need and came up with an estimate. I'm super excited to move out, it'll just be me, him our meeses and my lil dog !! I'm excited to have all my friends/family over for a house warming dinner party and then later in the night have proper party. Until next time !
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
04/01/2024
Drinking: Iced green tea
Listening: Queen Nicki Minaj
HI! Welcome to 2024
A bits happens since my last entry! J went to Japan with his family for three weeks and I house/pet sat for them! The first week was lonely but over time it got WAY easier! I had L, my mum and lil brother over. J's mum gave me 1.5k and lots of gifts. In the last week of the trip they all got really sick, J's brother got influenza a and covid and almost went to hospital. It wasn't clear for a while wether they could come home on time or not, but they did! J brought me back so may gifts!
My lil brother graduated from primary school too, which is insane bc he is still a lil baby to me. I helped put up J's family's christmas tree and decorations and a couple of days later it was my lil brother's 13th birthday!!! J and I decorated gingerbread houses, watched christmas movies and drove around looking at christmas lights. J's family started fostering four, 6 week old tabby kittens, they are so tiny and sweet, I wish I could keep them. They got a bit sick but they are on the mend now.
On the 22nd of dec my family exchanged gifts, I got a lot of little things like candles and books as well as a $100 giftcard to an online bookshop. I preordered Maddiline Pendelton's book the other day. She is the host of the Pick me up I'm scared podcast I always listen to. Everyone enjoyed the gifts I brought them. Then I went to J's house to swap gifts with him. He got me so much that I got overwhelmed and had to take breaks in between opening them. He gotme so much candy and chocolate, tea. trinkets from Japan, candles and he preordered Penelope Scott's latest album. On the 23rd I took J out to see the boy and the heron, it was beautiful and I love the cinema sm. On CHristmas eve I travelled up the coast with my mum and lil brother to stay w some relitives. We stopped at this sick giftshop that I love and I found a phrenology bust for only $80, I had been looking at them online for like $300. We stopped in at a family friends house and she gifted me some amaxing Buddhist loot, including, a prayer wheel, khutas, many books and a handpainted nepalese cabnet which she will deliever to my house soon. I have been studying Buddhism a lot more and in April I am going on a week long mediation retreat at a female focused monastry. It's in the mountains. I am very excited! I went swimming in the ocean w lil brother and in the evening we watched the christmas parade.
On christmas we had a little lunch and a big dinner as usual. I had two lunches because I went to visit a new (2yr old) little cousin that I hadn't met before. Back at where we were staying I met my REALLY new little cousin, she was a month or two old I think. I held her and she spat up milk on my arm which was gross, but she was so cute. After dinner we opened up gifts, I got a few little things, a plant, candy and chocolate and ofc money!!!
On the 26th I went back home and visted J's dad, we went out to dinner and they got me these sick red dwarf earrings. I felt really sick that night, and a few days later I tested positive for covid
It was the first time I had covid, and the hardest part was not going out and not seeing J. I stayed up on NYE and J showed me the fireworks and we kissed on the phone at midnight.
As everyone knows Gypsy Rose is out of prison, I am very happy for her. During my isolation I really read up on her story. I saw j for the first time since isolating the other day, we applied to a bunch of places, and yesterday we had another inspection, I really hope we get this one!
My new years resolutions are to watch more movies, get my license and sort out my stamp collection!
I hope y'all had/are having a good holiday season. Talk soon.
12/11/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Pick me up I'm scared
Hello ! It's been a while ! My fave month is over and spooky month!
I'm reading my journal to help me remember what I've done lately. In early September, J gave me a lil gift basket w lots of treats, flowers, pens, white out and a card. A few days later I had a sleepover w bestie L, one like we used to have in highschool, we spent like $120 on snacks, we watch the monster high movie and fionna and cake. On the 23rd it was J's bday, he got a lot of cool stuff including camping things, we had a bbq lunch and indian for dinner and he had a caramel mudcake.
On the 27th it was my bday! I had high tea w L and she got me some nail polishes, lip gloss and a few other things. Joe got my the communist manifestop, a lush gift set, a lana viynl and a coffee scented candle. His dad and step mum gave me a lush set and his mum gave me the antiquarian sticker book. My little brother drew me a picture of me and my doggie. My parents gave me a bass guitar !!!! I also got some money which I put away for the Bicheno trip. J and I got maccas for breakkie and then we went to some arcades! L came over and dad made ravioli for dinner and we had tiramasu for dessert.
I also got a big backpay from centrelink so I brought glasses, new docs and I had a dental check up! J, my little brother, D and I went camping too, we only stayed one night bc we forgot some food, got bored and it got rainy, we still had a great a time ! We went on a 5km hike and went fishing ( we didnt catch anything lol ) J and I went to a goth ball w drag and stuff and T and B drove up and a bunch of our friends came !!! Itr was awesome !! J and D and I went to show, L and E were sick so they didn't come :( We went on some rides and got showbags and looked at animals. J and I went down the coast w my mum to visit family, ,it was good! We went to a flower farm and there were so many bugs !!!! I brought some dark purple tulips. One of my friends gifted me a buddhist book and a meditation cushion! I finished all my exams and I think I did alright ! yahooo !
A few days before halloween J and I adopted to mice!! Honey and Lavender, they are SO sweet ! I also got some angel bites. On the 28th J and I went to a halloween party! There were a lot of cool people. A few days later we went to a halloween carnival event, they had free popcorn and fairyfloss, we got tokens to play games for prizes, we won quite a bit! On the 30th we saw the fnaf movie and on the 31st j and i went trick or treating w his dad, step mum and lil brother, we got HEAPS of candy! When we got home we watched a horror movie and ate the halloween cookies we baked earlier.
On the 3rd of Nov J and I drove to Bicheno, J planned and payed for it all aaaaa we had lunch at the beach and dinner at a fancy restuaront. The next morning we had breakfast at a cafe and went to a wildlife park, the next day we drove a few hours away and looked at a bookshop and lnch before going to a serpentarium, there were lots of reptiles and cool artefacts. I held a snake called russel !! Then we drove further away and went to a small and quite strange camel farm, on the last day we went on a glass bottom boat tour, we saw seals, star fish, jelly fish, little sharks and many other fish !!
I've been going to the gym and I'm still losing weight :) Soon J and his family will be in Japan and I'll be house/pet sitting, his mum is paying me very generously. I plan to watch a lot of movies. J and I are planning on moving into an apartment/small house soon. when he gets back from Japan we are going to some viewings. We wrote a list of all the furniture and appliences we'll need and came up with an estimate. I'm super excited to move out, it'll just be me, him our meeses and my lil dog !! I'm excited to have all my friends/family over for a house warming dinner party and then later in the night have proper party. Until next time !
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
HI! Welcome to 2024
A bits happens since my last entry! J went to Japan with his family for three weeks and I house/pet sat for them! The first week was lonely but over time it got WAY easier! I had L, my mum and lil brother over. J's mum gave me 1.5k and lots of gifts. In the last week of the trip they all got really sick, J's brother got influenza a and covid and almost went to hospital. It wasn't clear for a while wether they could come home on time or not, but they did! J brought me back so may gifts!
My lil brother graduated from primary school too, which is insane bc he is still a lil baby to me. I helped put up J's family's christmas tree and decorations and a couple of days later it was my lil brother's 13th birthday!!! J and I decorated gingerbread houses, watched christmas movies and drove around looking at christmas lights. J's family started fostering four, 6 week old tabby kittens, they are so tiny and sweet, I wish I could keep them. They got a bit sick but they are on the mend now.
On the 22nd of dec my family exchanged gifts, I got a lot of little things like candles and books as well as a $100 giftcard to an online bookshop. I preordered Maddiline Pendelton's book the other day. She is the host of the Pick me up I'm scared podcast I always listen to. Everyone enjoyed the gifts I brought them. Then I went to J's house to swap gifts with him. He got me so much that I got overwhelmed and had to take breaks in between opening them. He gotme so much candy and chocolate, tea. trinkets from Japan, candles and he preordered Penelope Scott's latest album. On the 23rd I took J out to see the boy and the heron, it was beautiful and I love the cinema sm. On CHristmas eve I travelled up the coast with my mum and lil brother to stay w some relitives. We stopped at this sick giftshop that I love and I found a phrenology bust for only $80, I had been looking at them online for like $300. We stopped in at a family friends house and she gifted me some amaxing Buddhist loot, including, a prayer wheel, khutas, many books and a handpainted nepalese cabnet which she will deliever to my house soon. I have been studying Buddhism a lot more and in April I am going on a week long mediation retreat at a female focused monastry. It's in the mountains. I am very excited! I went swimming in the ocean w lil brother and in the evening we watched the christmas parade.
On christmas we had a little lunch and a big dinner as usual. I had two lunches because I went to visit a new (2yr old) little cousin that I hadn't met before. Back at where we were staying I met my REALLY new little cousin, she was a month or two old I think. I held her and she spat up milk on my arm which was gross, but she was so cute. After dinner we opened up gifts, I got a few little things, a plant, candy and chocolate and ofc money!!!
On the 26th I went back home and visted J's dad, we went out to dinner and they got me these sick red dwarf earrings. I felt really sick that night, and a few days later I tested positive for covid
It was the first time I had covid, and the hardest part was not going out and not seeing J. I stayed up on NYE and J showed me the fireworks and we kissed on the phone at midnight.
As everyone knows Gypsy Rose is out of prison, I am very happy for her. During my isolation I really read up on her story. I saw j for the first time since isolating the other day, we applied to a bunch of places, and yesterday we had another inspection, I really hope we get this one!
My new years resolutions are to watch more movies, get my license and sort out my stamp collection!
I hope y'all had/are having a good holiday season. Talk soon.
12/11/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Pick me up I'm scared
Hello ! It's been a while ! My fave month is over and spooky month!
I'm reading my journal to help me remember what I've done lately. In early September, J gave me a lil gift basket w lots of treats, flowers, pens, white out and a card. A few days later I had a sleepover w bestie L, one like we used to have in highschool, we spent like $120 on snacks, we watch the monster high movie and fionna and cake. On the 23rd it was J's bday, he got a lot of cool stuff including camping things, we had a bbq lunch and indian for dinner and he had a caramel mudcake.
On the 27th it was my bday! I had high tea w L and she got me some nail polishes, lip gloss and a few other things. Joe got my the communist manifestop, a lush gift set, a lana viynl and a coffee scented candle. His dad and step mum gave me a lush set and his mum gave me the antiquarian sticker book. My little brother drew me a picture of me and my doggie. My parents gave me a bass guitar !!!! I also got some money which I put away for the Bicheno trip. J and I got maccas for breakkie and then we went to some arcades! L came over and dad made ravioli for dinner and we had tiramasu for dessert.
I also got a big backpay from centrelink so I brought glasses, new docs and I had a dental check up! J, my little brother, D and I went camping too, we only stayed one night bc we forgot some food, got bored and it got rainy, we still had a great a time ! We went on a 5km hike and went fishing ( we didnt catch anything lol ) J and I went to a goth ball w drag and stuff and T and B drove up and a bunch of our friends came !!! Itr was awesome !! J and D and I went to show, L and E were sick so they didn't come :( We went on some rides and got showbags and looked at animals. J and I went down the coast w my mum to visit family, ,it was good! We went to a flower farm and there were so many bugs !!!! I brought some dark purple tulips. One of my friends gifted me a buddhist book and a meditation cushion! I finished all my exams and I think I did alright ! yahooo !
A few days before halloween J and I adopted to mice!! Honey and Lavender, they are SO sweet ! I also got some angel bites. On the 28th J and I went to a halloween party! There were a lot of cool people. A few days later we went to a halloween carnival event, they had free popcorn and fairyfloss, we got tokens to play games for prizes, we won quite a bit! On the 30th we saw the fnaf movie and on the 31st j and i went trick or treating w his dad, step mum and lil brother, we got HEAPS of candy! When we got home we watched a horror movie and ate the halloween cookies we baked earlier.
On the 3rd of Nov J and I drove to Bicheno, J planned and payed for it all aaaaa we had lunch at the beach and dinner at a fancy restuaront. The next morning we had breakfast at a cafe and went to a wildlife park, the next day we drove a few hours away and looked at a bookshop and lnch before going to a serpentarium, there were lots of reptiles and cool artefacts. I held a snake called russel !! Then we drove further away and went to a small and quite strange camel farm, on the last day we went on a glass bottom boat tour, we saw seals, star fish, jelly fish, little sharks and many other fish !!
I've been going to the gym and I'm still losing weight :) Soon J and his family will be in Japan and I'll be house/pet sitting, his mum is paying me very generously. I plan to watch a lot of movies. J and I are planning on moving into an apartment/small house soon. when he gets back from Japan we are going to some viewings. We wrote a list of all the furniture and appliences we'll need and came up with an estimate. I'm super excited to move out, it'll just be me, him our meeses and my lil dog !! I'm excited to have all my friends/family over for a house warming dinner party and then later in the night have proper party. Until next time !
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
12/11/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Pick me up I'm scared
Hello ! It's been a while ! My fave month is over and spooky month!
I'm reading my journal to help me remember what I've done lately. In early September, J gave me a lil gift basket w lots of treats, flowers, pens, white out and a card. A few days later I had a sleepover w bestie L, one like we used to have in highschool, we spent like $120 on snacks, we watch the monster high movie and fionna and cake. On the 23rd it was J's bday, he got a lot of cool stuff including camping things, we had a bbq lunch and indian for dinner and he had a caramel mudcake.
On the 27th it was my bday! I had high tea w L and she got me some nail polishes, lip gloss and a few other things. Joe got my the communist manifestop, a lush gift set, a lana viynl and a coffee scented candle. His dad and step mum gave me a lush set and his mum gave me the antiquarian sticker book. My little brother drew me a picture of me and my doggie. My parents gave me a bass guitar !!!! I also got some money which I put away for the Bicheno trip. J and I got maccas for breakkie and then we went to some arcades! L came over and dad made ravioli for dinner and we had tiramasu for dessert.
I also got a big backpay from centrelink so I brought glasses, new docs and I had a dental check up! J, my little brother, D and I went camping too, we only stayed one night bc we forgot some food, got bored and it got rainy, we still had a great a time ! We went on a 5km hike and went fishing ( we didnt catch anything lol ) J and I went to a goth ball w drag and stuff and T and B drove up and a bunch of our friends came !!! Itr was awesome !! J and D and I went to show, L and E were sick so they didn't come :( We went on some rides and got showbags and looked at animals. J and I went down the coast w my mum to visit family, ,it was good! We went to a flower farm and there were so many bugs !!!! I brought some dark purple tulips. One of my friends gifted me a buddhist book and a meditation cushion! I finished all my exams and I think I did alright ! yahooo !
A few days before halloween J and I adopted to mice!! Honey and Lavender, they are SO sweet ! I also got some angel bites. On the 28th J and I went to a halloween party! There were a lot of cool people. A few days later we went to a halloween carnival event, they had free popcorn and fairyfloss, we got tokens to play games for prizes, we won quite a bit! On the 30th we saw the fnaf movie and on the 31st j and i went trick or treating w his dad, step mum and lil brother, we got HEAPS of candy! When we got home we watched a horror movie and ate the halloween cookies we baked earlier.
On the 3rd of Nov J and I drove to Bicheno, J planned and payed for it all aaaaa we had lunch at the beach and dinner at a fancy restuaront. The next morning we had breakfast at a cafe and went to a wildlife park, the next day we drove a few hours away and looked at a bookshop and lnch before going to a serpentarium, there were lots of reptiles and cool artefacts. I held a snake called russel !! Then we drove further away and went to a small and quite strange camel farm, on the last day we went on a glass bottom boat tour, we saw seals, star fish, jelly fish, little sharks and many other fish !!
I've been going to the gym and I'm still losing weight :) Soon J and his family will be in Japan and I'll be house/pet sitting, his mum is paying me very generously. I plan to watch a lot of movies. J and I are planning on moving into an apartment/small house soon. when he gets back from Japan we are going to some viewings. We wrote a list of all the furniture and appliences we'll need and came up with an estimate. I'm super excited to move out, it'll just be me, him our meeses and my lil dog !! I'm excited to have all my friends/family over for a house warming dinner party and then later in the night have proper party. Until next time !
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
Hello ! It's been a while ! My fave month is over and spooky month!
I'm reading my journal to help me remember what I've done lately. In early September, J gave me a lil gift basket w lots of treats, flowers, pens, white out and a card. A few days later I had a sleepover w bestie L, one like we used to have in highschool, we spent like $120 on snacks, we watch the monster high movie and fionna and cake. On the 23rd it was J's bday, he got a lot of cool stuff including camping things, we had a bbq lunch and indian for dinner and he had a caramel mudcake.
On the 27th it was my bday! I had high tea w L and she got me some nail polishes, lip gloss and a few other things. Joe got my the communist manifestop, a lush gift set, a lana viynl and a coffee scented candle. His dad and step mum gave me a lush set and his mum gave me the antiquarian sticker book. My little brother drew me a picture of me and my doggie. My parents gave me a bass guitar !!!! I also got some money which I put away for the Bicheno trip. J and I got maccas for breakkie and then we went to some arcades! L came over and dad made ravioli for dinner and we had tiramasu for dessert.
I also got a big backpay from centrelink so I brought glasses, new docs and I had a dental check up! J, my little brother, D and I went camping too, we only stayed one night bc we forgot some food, got bored and it got rainy, we still had a great a time ! We went on a 5km hike and went fishing ( we didnt catch anything lol ) J and I went to a goth ball w drag and stuff and T and B drove up and a bunch of our friends came !!! Itr was awesome !! J and D and I went to show, L and E were sick so they didn't come :( We went on some rides and got showbags and looked at animals. J and I went down the coast w my mum to visit family, ,it was good! We went to a flower farm and there were so many bugs !!!! I brought some dark purple tulips. One of my friends gifted me a buddhist book and a meditation cushion! I finished all my exams and I think I did alright ! yahooo !
A few days before halloween J and I adopted to mice!! Honey and Lavender, they are SO sweet ! I also got some angel bites. On the 28th J and I went to a halloween party! There were a lot of cool people. A few days later we went to a halloween carnival event, they had free popcorn and fairyfloss, we got tokens to play games for prizes, we won quite a bit! On the 30th we saw the fnaf movie and on the 31st j and i went trick or treating w his dad, step mum and lil brother, we got HEAPS of candy! When we got home we watched a horror movie and ate the halloween cookies we baked earlier.
On the 3rd of Nov J and I drove to Bicheno, J planned and payed for it all aaaaa we had lunch at the beach and dinner at a fancy restuaront. The next morning we had breakfast at a cafe and went to a wildlife park, the next day we drove a few hours away and looked at a bookshop and lnch before going to a serpentarium, there were lots of reptiles and cool artefacts. I held a snake called russel !! Then we drove further away and went to a small and quite strange camel farm, on the last day we went on a glass bottom boat tour, we saw seals, star fish, jelly fish, little sharks and many other fish !!
I've been going to the gym and I'm still losing weight :) Soon J and his family will be in Japan and I'll be house/pet sitting, his mum is paying me very generously. I plan to watch a lot of movies. J and I are planning on moving into an apartment/small house soon. when he gets back from Japan we are going to some viewings. We wrote a list of all the furniture and appliences we'll need and came up with an estimate. I'm super excited to move out, it'll just be me, him our meeses and my lil dog !! I'm excited to have all my friends/family over for a house warming dinner party and then later in the night have proper party. Until next time !
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
15/09/2023
Drinking: Water
Listening: Mitski-Bug like an angel
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
HIIII!!!! More fun stuff has been happening as of late and I have so many fun things coming up in the next month and so!
As I said in the last entry J and I were gonna drive to Hobart and do a bunch of fun stuff, we did that and it was fun! We caught a ferry to an art museum, w ent to a sushi train, had hot pot with some of my family members that we stayed with, went to some opshops and tipshops, we walked in a beautiful rain forest and enjoyed the natural hotsprings, we also went to one of the countries last pizza hut buffets! I also did a NUMBER on my bank account lmao, we went to a really cute stationary shop, lush and some little boutique stores.
A few days before we went I took J to his first drag show! We both had an awesome time and it was so heartwarming seeing so many queer people in my area. I also went to a games night with J and his friends which was nice!
What I'm really happy about is the fact its my favourite month !!!! SEPTEMBER !!!! This month is my birthday (27th) and J's (23rd). I know what I'm getting him and I know that I am getting a bass guitar, some books from my wishlist and ik L will take me to high tea as it's tradition. I will be 22! and J will be 24!, I don't feel like I should be 22, even though its not old, I still feel like a kid lmao.
I also love september because it is spring where I live! It marks the end of winter, which is often a depressing time for me. Spring is when all new life come out, so many little animals and plants and it's so sunny! Uni is also winding down now, before the exam season atleast. I've got a few assignments that are due soon but I've already finished most of them.
One of my cousins is currently expecting and another one just had a baby! The new baby is a girl and the one on the way is a boy! I am very excited to meet them.
I've been going to the gym 3 times a week, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! Which is SO weird cause I was never at fitness girly, but I've made some friends and started weight lifting! I might build up to going 5 times a week but idk yet hehe. I've lost about 10kg since I started working out which is so crazy but I still have a fair bit to go until I reach my goal.
Some of the exciting stuff I have coming up this month and next include, an increase in my pay and maybe a bigger increase later, I'm just waiting for a confirmation. Going to a goth drag ball !! A sleepover w L tomorrow (We are gonna eat sushi and snack and watch monster high and barbie movies hehe), J and I's bdays, the show (like a big fair w rides and showbags and stuff), my dad's bday, my doggies bday, end of semester 2 !!, house sitting for a house w 6 cats, 3 chickens and 2 dogs for 3 weeks, and a surprise trip to Bicheno (the seaside town i fell in love with) with J! (I know we are going on a glass bottom boat tour, to a camel farm and to a snake zoo and I am gonna hold a snake!! I think they are cool!)
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
22/08/2023
Drinking: Sugar-free raspberry Mother Energy
Listening: Behind the bastards podcast
Wah It’s literally been 8 months since my last entry! Whoops hehe.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
I have so much to say! I’m going to recap the best moments of the last 8 months:
- Started pole dancing
- to first “real” house party
- J got his lisence and a new cat
- J and I went to berry farm
- J and I had a Valentines day picnic, he gifted me flowers, chocolates, Strawberry Shortcake PJs and a cute handmade card
- J and I drove to *redeacted* for a relatives wedding and I met my new little cousin
- J and I celebrated out 1st anniversary, we went to a fancy restaurant, and I was gifted flowers, heaps of my fave snacks and an adorable handmade card
- Saw Priscilla the Queen of the Desert live on stage w/ my mum
- Flew to Sydney and saw My CHEM AAAAA
- Many beach trips
- Celebrated T’s 18th
- J and I stayed in a cute lil airbnb in Bicheno we had SUCH a great time and I fell in love with the little seaside town
- Had a proper English roast
- Shaved eyebrows off
- J, T and I went to sick sick science museum
- Celebrated a successful semester 1 with ramen
- Found a kitten
- Went camping x2
- A few good parties
- Got new tatt and a sick haircut
- Started working out and playing bass (almost) everyday
- Went to Labcoat gig with L, E, J and W
- Went to drag show with J
- Connected with old friends
Yeah! Alot has happened! I’m doing so so good like I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I’m making so many new lovely friends. In a few days J and I are driving down to *redeacted* and I am SO excited! We have so much planned! Uni is going great, I’m thinking of going into social work after this degree but I’m not super sure yet. I am so excited to graduate next year! I know what dress I am going to buy and some of the gifts I’m getting hehe.
11/1/2023
Drinking: Iced Green Tea
Listening: "Margo Guryan - Sunday Morning"
Hello and Happy New Year !!
I've been doing good lately and I had a great holiday season. It started on the 18th of Dec. I've never celebrated Hannukah before but I attended the Menorah lighting on the first night of Hannukah and I had an awesome time! Even though my close family and I aren't Christian, like a lot of Australia we still celebrate Christmas. I opened my gifts with my parents and brother at home on Christmas morning. My favourite gifts were money, Adrift by Tracey Williams, and a beautiful heart shaped philodenron ( I am starting to aquire plants). We then travelled to the coast to visit my grandparents and other relitives. We had a small lunch and a big dinner. My Granpa lives on the beach and I went swimming for hours, it was awesome, I saw weird seabugs on the seaweed and swam out further then I ever had before. I got really sunburnt though.The next day I went swimming again, and visited a close friend who lives near by. On the 27th I went to J's house and him, his brother and I travelled about 45 minutes out of town, to another beach, to stay in a beautiful airbnb his dad had rented out for the Christmas season. His little brother was there too, he is walking and talking now. We went swimming and to the beach and I also went fishing for the first time !! I didn't catch anything but what the others catched we threw back and I watched them swim away so I hope we didn't hurt them or anything. I ended up looking under rocks for crabs and things for most of the time. After a few days I went back home, and last night I celebrated NYE at J's house, we had Japanese curry and sushi for dinner, watched fireworks on tv, took some cute photos, drank some (non alcoholic) wine/champagne and kissed at midnight ofc! There's no one else I'd wanna ring the new years in with.
I go back to uni in Feb and I'm so excited I miss it a lot. I'm only taking 3 classes instead of 4 this semester, cause 2 are gonna be 3rd year. I'm taking a developmental psych class, one specifily on dementia and one on advanced research techniquies. I am seeing MCR in a few months in a place in my country I've never been to. I am so so so excited. Until next time x
5/12/2022
Listening to: The wind
Well it has been quite a while and a lot has happened. I left uni and I did pass all my exams and classes. I also moved out into a sharehouse for a few months but I moved back home again be the landlord sucked. I got a new job which I did enjoy even though it made me very stressed. I quit though, due to both mental and physical health issues. I had a laproscopic surgery and I only have minor endometrosis which is great, but it doesn't explain the unbarable pain I regulary experience. I have been referred to a chronic pain specialist. I have also had two fainting episodes. I have gotten dizzy before but never passed out. The first time happened at hospital in the emergency room and I had to stay over night. The second happened while I was having high tea with my bestie, L. It's really scary but I am going to talk to a doctor about it soon. J and I are better then ever we travelled to Melbourne for a combined birthday trip, we had some amazing experiences that I am so glad I got to share with him.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
I have been studying more Buddhism and yesterday J, my mum and I went to the monastry's yearly picnic in the park and it was amazing! There were so many lovely people and I even worked up the courage to introduce myself to the Lama, even though I was apperantly bright red. He said that it's good that I am reading a lot, and trying to meditate more. I told him I am not familer with all the formalities like Prostrations, and he told me not to worry at all because we are all the same here. He said he looked fowards to seeing me more. I am super excited for Christmas, it is one of my favourite times of the year, gift giving is my main love langauge and I love all the food and seeing my family. Anyway, bye x
5/05/202
Drinking: Iced green tea
Watching: some random youtube videos idk
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
Hello again.Today it rained all day.All I did was read, nap and play Minecraft. It was lovely. I read 200 pages of "My year of rest and relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I read her book Homesick for another world a while ago and I loved it so much, so when I went shopping a couple of days of ago I picked it up. I'm almost finished it and I think it will be one of my new favourite books. I took my best friend to hightea for her birthday and we went shopping, I brought an animal crossing puzzle, the book, bath bombs and this fancy blooming tea. The day after I met up with an old friend from highschool, which was nice. I've decided to take 6 months from uni for my mental health. I'm going to try and relax more but also get more work/a new job. I had my first exam of the season yesterday for my reasearch skills class, I think I went well and I'm confident for my other two.
29/05/2022
Drinking: Iced green tea
Eating: Chinese food
Watching: "You Can't Ask That - Gay Men"
Hiya.I've had a really great month.I travelled to *redacted* by myself and it was so awesome, I'm keen to travel again. I did so many fun things. I saw my first drag show. I met J's half brother and he is very cute. He turns one soon. School has been pretty hard lately, I'm currently revising for exams and I'm feeling pretty meh about it. I've also had no shifts at work :( I met some of J's friends and it was really nice! Last night I went to a party with him, where all the guys wore dresses and all the girls wore tradionally male clothes, I dress like a guy a lot of the time anyway, but it was a good laugh. I wore a deer hunting shirt which really made my fit (I detest hunting for sport/fun and consider all sentiant beings equal). On the way home we found a dead dog on the road. I used to work at a vet clinic and I am confident in pet first aid and animal care. It would've been killed on impact. It was warm but it had no heartbeat, wasn't breathing, had a blue tounge, had no eye movements or reaction to the inner eyes being touched, his nose was bleeding too. It was a horrible thing to see, after we determined it wasn't going be saved, while the others were organising notifying the owner, I held it and patted it. It was very sad, I feel sorry for him. Apart from that, and watching "Graveyard of fireflies" I've have a pretty happy time lately. I've been playing sims a lot on J's computer, we made our own charecters that look like us and his dog. I mad a siamise cat called peanut butter and an italian greyhound called max, but he got taken away :( J and I live together but we aren't in a reletionship even though I'm pregnant with his kid AHAHA.
Anyway I gotta finish eating dinner, and watch this show with my mum.
7/04/2022
Watching: Hoarders
Drinking: Rose and mango green tea
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
I'm doing a whole lot better then the last entry, I think I was just having a moment. I don't have too many updates. There's only a few weeks of semester one left. I dropped my coding class and I'm making up for it with a creative writing analyse class over the winter. I'm not particulary intersted in the subject but atleast it won't be too difficult or long. I'm now the second year representitive for the university's psych society, which is cool. I didn't really apply but I was still elected. The only other notable school related thing is that I got a 62/64 or a high distinction (The highest mark you can get) for a data analyses on fishing fleets in my state. I think thats my highest mark so far. I treated myself to a little shopping trip, sushi and bubble tea for that one :)
I've been spending more time with J, at eachothers houses and on outings. We went with my mum to the local Buddhist Monstary for some meditation and teachings last week. Mum and I have been before and both at least somewhat idenify with Buddhism. J had never been but he really enjoyed it and wants to go again. It always makes me feel better after I go there, like my mind, body and spirit have been reset, theres something just so warm and comforting about that place and the lama. I feel safe there.
I have a few exciting things coming up, my best friend and her bf meeting J and I for lunch, mum, my brother, J and I going to visit my realitives in a place J's never been for Easter, and me meeting J's stepmum and baby half brother. Also semester break coming up! I promise over the break I'll write a new article (and maybe get around to rewriting some old ones). I am very happy and excited for autumn and winter. Until next time.
18/02/2022
Watching: Skins
Listeing to: Lana Del Rey
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.
25/01/2022
Listening to: Pick Me Up I'm Scared the Podcast
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write in here. Nothing too personal cause people I know in real life have acess to this website and I don't wanna be too embarrasing. I'm pretty tired today, I haven't been sleeping well. This is one of my favourite times of the year though, right before school goes back. I have so much to look fowards to and I'm very excited and happy, but I've been having such a constant deep feeling of anxiety in my pit of my stomach that I just want to go away. I know that it'll go away soon enough but it's very unpleasant. I've been distracting myself as much as I can but it's still there. I'm seeing my psych tomorrow so that's good. I can't wait for school to start.
I’m doing so much better since the last entry, even though I wasn’t doing particularly bad or anything lmao. It’s O week this week, uni goes back next week. I’m taking two stats classes this semester, which I’m secretly really looking forwards to. I prefer the math/science/medical classes that I have to take way more than the wishy-washy theory ones. I just find it so much easier when it’s black and white. And it’s fun to work towards a solution and have the satisfaction of finally getting it. I know it’s going to be hard though since this year my marks go towards my GPA and have an effect on what I can do after this degree but I’ve done harder things, so I know I’ll be okay. I also finally got my L’s, which is big deal. Driving is fun and I’m actually going pretty well in my lessons, I haven’t died yet. I also had a bit of a breakthrough with my psych a while ago, we didn’t have much to talk about, but we were talking about the fact I’m in my second year of uni, and I honestly can’t believe it, I didn’t think I’d be alive this long. I’ve said it a million times, usually when I’m complaing about something. “I don’t know how to file my taxes, I didn’t plan this fair ahead, I thought I would’ve offed myself by now.” But this time it was an overwhelming feeling of like oh shit like I survived, I did it, like I’m an actual adult now, I have so much freedom and I can finally see my future. I know I’ve been 18 for a while so idk why it’s hit me so hard now, maybe because I’m not being abused I dunno. I can’t wait until I can just drive away by myself and disappear for a bit. I’m flying to *redacted* for a while by myself in a few months, I’m so excited, I’m thinking of moving there. I just realised one night I could buy plane tickets to anywhere and just go!! It’s awesome, It’s what I’ve been waiting for, like if high school me could see how I’m doing now shed be amazed. I also met some awesome, cool, beautiful people in the last few weeks, including online friends. I’ve been invited to lunches, dinners, gigs, parties, and I think, ironically, the only thing that’s changed is that I’ve stopped living to please other people. And that I know I’m loved because I love myself. I just do whatever I feel will make me happy and I think it’s the best way to live. I know I won’t feel this good forever but the fact I’m feeling anything at all is enough to celebrate. Also we got a cat, I love the little bastard boy.